Last night I made the mistake of stopping, mid-channel hop, and caught 5 minutes of the new series of The Apprentice on BBC 2. Damn! Half an hour later I’m sitting there, hooked, watching one of the candidates getting fired. Worst of all I suspect that I’ll be sitting there next week watching it again. Damn. Damn damn damnity damn damn damn.
Why all the damnation and tarnation, I hear you ask? (well ok, I don’t really, but as a bridging device from the introduction to the body of the text it’s quite handy, so just nod and go along with me on this one)
Simply put, because it smacks too much of reality TV for my tastes. I don’t mind watching TV and I think it is sometimes looked down on too easily by snobs among us. Some TV shows are as well written, tense, involving and emotionally engaging as anything in print. That said, reality TV really is just as bad as they say, and then some. If a good book is a healthy home cooked meal, and a good TV show is a nice meal from a good takeaway, then reality TV is bubblegum. Laced with poison.
Is this the beginning of the end for me? Will I end up watching the new series of Big Brother and become obsessed with the comings, going and inane witterings of people who couldn’t even spell “Orwell” much less read the book that features their show’s title? Will I start buying Heat magazine and obsess over the latest top that Jude Law is wearing, or how hot (or not) Madonna looked on the last red carpet she was on? Will my brains actually turn to mush, dribble out of my ears and seep into the carpet, which is already soaked by the saliva dripping down from my slack-jawed face as I gaze into the glaring light of C-list celebrities and consider what I’ll put on my Big Brother audition tape for the next series?
Never let it be said that I take things to extremes though. The show is interesting and unlike most reality TV shows, it does seem to be pointing towards something and involve a degree of talent: the contestants are up for a job, and need to impress Sir Alan Sugar, a guy who seems to have built himself up to where he is today and knows what he’s looking for. And at least unlike one reality show on TV over here in Blighty, it doesn’t involve eating kangaroo testicles (or at least I hope it doesn’t: I mean, Sugar seems to be an alright kind of guy but I don’t think he’s into anything like that).
I know I’m in trouble because today I even read a blog post about last night’s episode. If this is the start of the “reality TV brain-rot” downward spiral and I end up degenerating like the guy in Flowers for Algernon then I’m sorry. Tell my family I love them, and to remember me the way I am. I would go and tell them myself, but by that point I’ll probably be glued to my TV 24/7 and the only working muscles I’ll have left will be in my thumbs – one for changing channels and one for using my mobile phone to send text messages about celebrities to others like me.
Oooooh, Katie Holmes has a new tank-top. Gotta go.
March 2nd, 2006 at 6:27 pm
Eh, I don’t subscribe to all the nay-saying about reality TV. Sure, shows like The Real World are pretty soul sucking, but that’s because all it is is watching stupid people do stupid, pointless things. But the shows that require talent are fun and actually well-written as far as tasks go. I watch The Apprentice and The Amazing Race and just have a grand time.
I think there’s plenty of room for original shows AND reality shows on the tube. Afterall, look at all the stupid “original” shows that make it on the air and have long runs. They’re just as bad as stupid reality shows, but people looove to put reality shows as a whole under one huge “It sucks!” blanket. Give me a break.
Anyway, I wonder how your Apprentice guy compares to Donald Trump. Is he ignorant and abrasive? Cause those are the things we love to hate about DT.
March 6th, 2006 at 10:33 am
Perhaps you’re right Kelly, quality TV is quality TV regardless of genre. It might be different in the states, but my reaction is based on the glut of reality shows we have over here. Most involve Z-list celebrities, trying to boost their careers, doing “shocking” things to entertain. Or hopeless “wannabees” trying to BE a Z-list celebrity! :-)
Our Apprentice guy is pretty harsh, but otherwise fair: he knows what he is looking for, he knows what he wants, and he knows how to communicate when the teams *don’t* give him those things! :-) I wouldn’t say ignorant – abrasive perhaps, but not ignorant. Just frighteningly direct!