In a totally original move for this time of year I have decided to do something that no-one else will have thought of. That’s right, something that no blog, book, website, TV show, newspaper or commentator will have thought of. You saw it here first folks, the boiled egg is blazing the trail, showing the way, pointing to the future. I’m going to do a retrospective. That’s right, I’m going to have a look back at 2005 and have a bit of a think about how it went. How’s that for a slice of fried gold?
I know. Take a moment to let it all sink in. The sheer originality. The boldness of the concept. The complete unadulterated beauty of a startling idea naked in the light of day, shining brighter than the sun. A retrospective blog entry in early January. I’ll bet you never even saw it coming. You might want to go get a glass of water, you’re looking pretty shocked.
All better now? Excellent. So, without any further ado, let me welcome our first guest for this evening: the year 2005.
**audience applause**
2005, what a pleasure it is to have you here. Welcome to the Boiled Egg. I think you might be the first calendar year we’ve ever had as a guest here.
Thanks, it’s really great to be here, I appreciate the invite, I really do.
And I love the decor! Very “basic blogger template” meets “too lazy to redesign” with a dash of “spartan but spacious”, I like it a lot. Kudos on all the white.
Why thank you, and may I say that while you might not be the only gregorian calendar year, I certainly think you’re the most gregarious.
*laughs and waves a hand* Oh, you. *giggles*
So, down to the business of the evening. 2005, what did you do for me?
Well, I think I did alright by you. You got engaged after all, to a pretty damn wonderful woman! What do you think ladies and gentlemen? Let’s hear it! Wooo!
**audience applause**
And that was just one of the things. During me you started this blog, spurred on by the efforts of someone you know. After his encouragement and a little dipping of your toes in the wider blogging world, you were good to go.
I’m still not too sure anyone should thank you for that one, but please go on.
Oh, you just worry that this thing is going to serve as the best argument ever for you never putting fingers to keyboard again. Mind you that’s not for me to point out, it’s down to you and my replacement. Another thing you managed to do with me is start to put work in it’s proper perspective. During my first half stress was starting to make you really miserable, wasn’t it?
I have to admit it was. I didn’t enjoy anything, felt I couldn’t get away from my work, that I was at my desk even when I wasn’t, the works. Bad times for me, now I look back on it.
Exactly, but about midway through you started to make progress. You left more and more of it behind when you left at nights. Didn’t that make a difference?
It really did. I started to enjoy things more, I relaxed more, and I got to spend more time with my partner. The sheer quality of stuff just went up for me, and I think it even helped me at work too – these days I feel a lot more focussed when I’m there. There’s still work to be done on that one, but I’m making progress.
You sure are. You started to play poker, and spent more time with your friends. You saw your brothers more, and I know how they make you happy. You watched TV, you read–
Not as much as I would have liked to.
–No, but you did make more time for it. You started to carve out a little more time for fun stuff, and that was good to see.
*laughs* Believe me, it was pretty good on my side of things too.
I suppose the main things for me were that you got engaged, you started to write more and you stopped one aspect of your life eroding the others, but there was more. You cancelled your gym membership…oh don’t blush, I’m sure we’ve all been there honey and you’ll walk off those love handles soon enough!
Yes, thank you.
Bet it’s the first time you’ve felt good about gaining fifty pounds every month eh? *giggles* You also turned 27 on my watch, leaving your mid-twenties behind you. You’re now on course for 30! You saw some bad stuff with me too – jury duty let you see some of the ugliness that can hide within some frighteningly ordinary looking people, but it also showed you that there is decency in a whole lot of others.
More important than anything else, I think during my run you gained a sense of perspective you had started to lose. You used to be a creative person, I knew that when I got your file from 2004 when I took over. I’m happy to see you’re starting to get in touch with that side of yourself again, even just a little.
*pauses for a second* Err…And there was the new Doctor Who. I gotta get some credit for that happening on my shift, surely?.
Indeed you do, but it wasn’t all about me, now was it?
Well I wasn’t going to be the one to point that out! *laughs*
You saw some pretty nasty things happen during your time in the big chair.
**quiet for a moment**
Yes, I suppose that’s true too. There were disasters and loss of life, both natural and man-made. There was ugliness, there was horror, there was loss, there was stupidity and there was fear. Some of the mistakes and mis-steps were very old and some were new. But you have to understand that I also saw that there is goodness, decency and humanity everywhere. People who can’t afford much giving money to relief agencies or charities. Basic kindness to one another. Picking up something someone has dropped. Saying “after you”. Helping someone carry something. Taking part in debate and making democracy work. Keeping in touch with a friend. Reading other people’s blogs. Giving something, anything, to others instead of just taking. Enjoying and appreciating the people we live our lives with.
From the small to the large I saw acts of compassion and integrity. I saw people stand with one another against the cold and the dark. Believe me if you focus on the negative it’s all too easy to lose site of the positive, but it does exist.
Just a matter of perspective?
In a manner of speaking, yes. All I did was have the watch, but it was you people who did all the work. Anyway, *claps hands*, there will be enough about me written in other places, and it’ll probably be a whole lot more eloquent than anything I can manage so I think I might shut up here.
Was there anything you would like to have seen happen?
I probably wouldn’t have minded a few days off! *laughs* No, things worked out the way they worked out. I got to have a few laughs and hand over to the new kid, which is pretty much all I could have asked for. I’ve enjoyed this though, as you might imagine this is a busy time for me. At least you let me sit down for our chat!
Well, thank you for your time tonight. Any news on future plans?
Well, I think I might do a comeback special next year! *laughs* No, no real plans. A few books might mention me, a few TV shows, but that’s about it for me. I’m ready to have a rest. Of course if those eggheads are right and time starts to go backwards at one point we might meet again, but I think we can say au revoir for now.
2005, thank you for your time.
*gets up to leave* And thank you hon. Bye everyone!
**audience applause**
And thank you for your time too, you’ve been a great audience. Of course, I say that to all the audiences, but you’ll never meet ’em so what’s the harm? Tune back in tomorrow, when I will be talking to the new kid on the block, 2006, and be talking about what’s in store for the year to come. Same egg channel, possibly not the same egg time.
Until then, to one and all, this is FawnDoo, reporting for the boiled egg of infinity, signing off. Goodnight.