Right, answer me this: does anyone actually read any of these “about me” boxes on web pages? Seriously, if you discount the frighteningly lonely, the internet predators and those automated programs sent out to crawl the web by Google, are we left with anyone at all?

Oh, that’s right – you. Hello! Don’t talk to the lonely people, they’ll just wet themselves. And avoid those folk over there in the dirty overcoats and the “We hate PC World!” badges. Come over here and talk to Googletron 2000X.