Nov 02

Okay let me just state for the record that the following is one of my pet hates and I’m just getting it out of my system. What’s a blog for, after all, if not a means to allow unregulated, petty ranting about any topic under the sun?

The sequence of events I’m referring to, the sequence of events that so stokes the blazing fires of my wrath, runs as follows:

1) I go to use the toilets, either at work or when I’m in a shop.
2) Afterwards, I wash my hands.
3) After washing my hands, I dry my hands.
4) I grab the door handle to leave the bathroom, and my hands are wet again.
5) My mind fills with all sorts of possibilities as to what my hands are wet with.

This is usually followed by an additional few steps:

6) Go back to sink and rewash hands.
7) Redry hands.
8) Grab a bit of toilet paper and use it to grab the doorhandle with.
9) Find a bin to get rid of the now wet toilet paper.

And I should point out that there is an intermediate phase between steps 8 and 9 – let’s call it step 8a – which runs as follows:

8a) Walk around work/shop/other public area looking like a weirdo with a bit of toilet paper in his hand.

I’d like to think that I’m not being unnecessarily picky here, that I’m not approaching this like someone with a major problem. Seriously though, what the fuck, people? Is it too much to ask that when you leave the toilet you wash your hands? (and believe me, for a surprising number of people the answer seems to be yes!) And even if you do wash your hands, is it too much to ask that you make sure you dry them before you open the door and leave the door handle dripping with who knows what?

Okay. Venting complete. Hands dried. I’m done. For now.